my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
