I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
