Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
