I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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