i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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