I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
