Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
