What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
