The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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