HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
