im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
