the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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