he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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