I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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