I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
