Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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