yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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