you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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