even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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