Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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