If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
