Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
