also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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