Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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