Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
