we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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