ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
