i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize