Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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