you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
