college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
