After last night, I could never be a politician.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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