Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
