Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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