I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i think i just lost a toe
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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