you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
