It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
