I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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