that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
