i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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