I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
