why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He? As in you personified your dick?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
