she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
