Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
