Quick, to the slutcave!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
