They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
