I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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