She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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