so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
