Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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