dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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