Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
